When my oldest two children were preschoolers, we’d drive around town in our Toyota van singing along with catchy Christian children’s songs, like this one. This idea of “counting my blessings” has further been encouraged by the current gratitude journal craze, where I’m encouraged to number out the blessings of my day.
So, I begin. “Thank you, God, for mymany blessings …”
But, wait, there’s something missing from this list … or, rather, someone missing. In fact, two names are missing from this list.
Where are my two babies who died before they were born? Where is my “baby #1,” miscarried just months after we were married? Where is my son, Tommy, born still 20 years ago today? Why aren’t their names on this list? Why is it so easy for me to skip over their names when I’m counting my blessings? I know that the scriptures tell me to “rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18a). So, what should I do?
I choose to make myself look up with eyes open wide for God’s hand carrying me through each day. I choose to look ahead, looking forward to the coming rewards like Moses who “considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward.” (Hebrews 11:26). Like Hebrews 11:6, “without faith it is impossible to please [God], for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.”
These coming rewards may take the form of earthly blessings, like Job being blessed with more cattle and more children after he’d lost them all. Or they may take the form of heavenly rewards, like those referred to in 1 Corinthians 3:14. Or they may take the form of greater faith and confidence in God, like James 1:2-3, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” We may not “count it all joy” for the trials, so much as finding joy for the result of them.
I, for one, know that my faith has grown deeper and stronger because of Tommy’s untimely death. That baby’s short life — and painful death — began a new trajectory in my life. I wanted Heaven to be real more desperately than ever before. I watched for God’s hand in my daily life more than ever before. I searched the scriptures because they were bread for my soul, like never before.
Look up, look forward and look back. God is with you. Look for him. Keep your eyes wide open and see Him work! God is keeping count of your tears in a bottle. (Psalm 56:8 ESV). He has not forgotten you. “Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.” (Isaiah 49:15-16a ESV)
Let me leave you with two songs. “Counting Every Blessing” by Rend Collective; and “Blessings” by Laura Story
For more, check out my website at www.AChildofPromise.org